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Bullying, social media, me and you!

A topic that is rife in today’s society but has always been a problem. What is bullying? Bullying is repeated, aggressive behaviour intended to hurt another mentally or physically. Bullying is actually one person wanting power over another. Why do people bully you? Usually because they are actually very unhappy themselves, they want to be you, they see you as a threat or they are bullied themselves so they want you to feel the way they do.
Lets be realistic, not everybody is going to like you and that is okay. You will come across people in your life that you don’t get along with and that is okay too. What is not okay is that you belittle them or bully them in any way just because they aren’t like you. People often bully others about their size, weight, colour of hair, colour of skin, if they have a talent, if they don’t have a talent etc! When you think about it really you will be bullied for anything at all.
It isn’t always strangers that bully, you can be bullied in ways by friends, by partners, by siblings etc but you don’t have to accept it from anyone. I myself got taunted about my hair colour throughout school and again in recent years too. “Ginger” I know what colour my hair is Thank you was always my reply but deep down of course it hurt. Why was I being name called because of my hair colour? I know now why because it was different it wasn’t the same as theirs. I was lucky throughout my life to have amazing friends and family that stood by me through thick and thin and always had my back. I will be forever grateful. I do know that many of you reading this might not feel you have the support and back up that I just spoke about but that doesn’t mean you accept bullying from anyone. Somebody cares I can promise you that. Talk, do not bottle things up or try to ignore the sutuations, if you do it will never be resolved. Never be ashamed or embarrassed it says more about them than it does you!
The big problem today is the “keyboard warriors” I have had my share of these which I very rarely speak about but like everything else in life just because it’s not spoke about does not mean it’s not happening. I had fake accounts after fake accounts made up by the same person for years sending me abuse in messages and commenting under my pictures. Every time I blocked them they would return with a new fake account. I won’t say it didn’t annoy me there was a time I was extremely angry at stuff they were saying to me but I just kept blocking them and eventually stopped going into message requests on Instagram so therefore I wouldn’t even see what they sent. The only problem here was I was missing out on work opportunity’s or followers with genuine questions for me. It was a vicious circle for a long time.
One of the best quotes I ever read

It’s true, people that are busy working on themselves, their career etc aren’t bothered about what you are doing. It is those below you not working on themselves that care most!
Live and let live, you do you and let me do me, this is stuck in my head constantly. Read it over and over then write it down. This is your life, we only get one chance at it, you do it your way. Life is too short to be anything but happy. It’s easy for me to say to you “ignore them” when I know how hard it was for me to take my own advice but I promise you in the long run you will win if you do.
There is no two people in this world the same, we are individually ourselves, yes there will be similarities but never the same. Embrace that you are different in every way possible.
Bullying has lead many people to mental health problems that they carry forward throughout their lives. Bullying in any way is not fair nor should it be tolerated in schools, in discos, in jobs, in sport, in a home etc. How it makes anyone feel good about themselves I’ll never know.
If you get more popular or put yourself out there in the public eye unfortunately it comes with a certain amount of backlash/ form of bullying. I often hear people say “she put herself out there so she has to expect it” why? Why should we if we aren’t doing anything wrong? It shouldn’t ever become acceptable. Everyone hurts, everyone has feelings and everyone has another side of their life that does not make social media. I will repeat that, everyone has parts of their lives that never make social media! People show you the parts the choose too believe me! Do not scroll thinking that it’s all happiness and positive and never compare your real life to another’s social media life!

I hope this helps one person out there, I hope you don’t think you are the only one going through it and never feel you are alone. Message me at any time if you don’t feel you can talk to the people in your life. You are never alone.

We all need to be less judgemental (me included) think more before we speak and listen more than we talk. I can’t wait to life skills, mental health etc becomes a necessary subject for every pupil in every school I think children need taught from a young age and that way there would be less of it going forward. There will always be bully’s but if there was more education on the impact your words and actions have on another I believe there would be less of it.

Thank you for reading,

love H💋llie xx

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