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I can’t tell you the key to success but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.

In June 2016 I was at a conference, I was asked a question, “If you had six months to live write down what you would do” I didn’t have time to think much about it I just wrote what came in to my head straight away. I have it here in front of me as I’m writing this blog post. My number one was to tell everyone that matters to me most (family & friends) how much I love & appreciate them and that I wish each of them had the ability to see themselves how I see them, how great they are and to make them feel that they are enough in all areas of their lives.

Number two was to spend quality time with those same people, travelling the world if possible and get married to the man who was sitting beside me. If I had six months to live I wanted to marry him. ( he never saw this)

Exercise, eat good foods with good company, do something new, a different experience, create memories. Continue to work doing what I do everyday, have a healthy pure mind, be thankful for what I achieved in life so far, courses, travelling, living in Oz, friendships, love, being an organ donar, giving blood regularly, my godson starting a blog putting myself out there and being self employed.

In my younger days I cared too much about the opinions of others. I cared what people thought about me and not enough about how I saw myself. That changed with age and I cared less and less what others thought, said and did. That is when I became a happier, more content person and if I was ever asked what Is your goal in life it’s forever been and forever will be “To he happy and content in life” what ever that may encounter.

In life I always keep a caption in mind “have no fear in perfection because you will never reach it” it doesn’t exist. I grew up in a childhood with no social media and as much as my work/career etc is based on it today Ive never been more thankful for anything as I am for that. If there is one thing I would like anyone to take from this blog post it is this “NEVER compare your REAL life to someone else’s social media life, do not believe all you see on social media and believe me on this everyone only shows their good times and good days, even if they aren’t having a good day it is very easy to pose for a photo acting like it is” If you see another side they’ve chosen to let you but don’t think for a minute they are showing all nobody ever shows all!

I feel extremly sorry for the younger generation, the pressure to look a certain way, to get grades, to live up to standards on line, valuing themselves by the amount of likes on a picture, to be a certain size. Constantly comparing their lives to another’s Instagram life. We didn’t have social media we didn’t see any of this, we played, we laughed, we grew up quite sheltered, innocent and happy. I feel sorry for parents trying to work hard to buy their children the latest game, the latest make up kit, the latest fad in the social media world. There are people putting themselves into unhealthy situations to keep children/teenagers happay eg, debt, mental health and so on. Parents fear if they can’t/don't get their children this stuff they’ll get bullied in school then they’ll form mental health problems etc. Its a vicious circle and no true success comes from being just a follower, be authentic, be unique and just be you.

Good manners, the meaning of No and gratitude are three of the best trates you will ever carry going forward in life. They are also three of the best things you can ever teach your children and one day I hope to teach my own children.

In 2015 i returned from oz, I had no idea what I was doing. I knew one thing was sure I wasn’t going back to the salon I had worked in before Oz and deep down I knew I wasn’t going back to Oz either. I went for a job interview in a well known, established beauty & lazer salon i was offered the job but had to work in Belfast for my first few months with no extra pay or travel expenses and the wages were bad as it was. I rang the following day to tell them I wouldn’t be taking the job they asked me to come back in for a chat. They had turned me off completely, there was no way I was going to work for that company paying what they were for the amount of work then on top of that what they expected from me in my first 3 months. My parents were concerned “you should take that job you get another job quicker when you are in in one.” I refused no way! I’ll work for myself for wile to keep head above water to I get something better I said and that was the beginning of were I am now. What I thought was going to be a few weeks is now years. I suppose I can now definatly call myself self employed. I worked hard, I worked morning, noon and night there were weeks I worked 7 days. I never found it too stressful as I love what I do and only for that I couldn’t have done those hours at the start.

Self employment is fantastic, it’s definitely for me but I can totally see how it’s not for everyone. You take work home with you and you don’t switch off. There is no holiday pay or days off sick it’s giving it your all. I suppose it’s like everything else you get what you put into it. I was home a few weeks i wasn’t in a good place I cried most days and i had no idea why. I opened up to my mummy she had suggested I go speak to my doctor I was prescribed a low dose of anti depressants mummy to now was the only person that new this. There were many reasons I needed those at that time and I knew what had caused me to get so low. One thing that never helped me was alcohol, if anything it made me feel so much worse. People turn to drink when things go wrong in life, this won’t ever be an option for me as I know the way it leaves me to feel. With alcoholism in both sides of my family I am well aware of its harmful destroying side and this is just to of the reasons I choose not to drink often. It really annoys me when people ask others “why are you not drinking” “wise up your no crac” “drink it’s the weekend, drinks it’s xmas, drink it’s the summer” etc! You do not know why that person has chosen not to drink, there are women trying to have babies going through treatment, there are people that have alcoholics in their families and maybe chose not to tell you this, there are people that don’t want to feel the way I felt after drink sometimes. Etc! What ever the reason let it be Instead of embarrassing the person just leave it. Let people make their own choices and you make yours.

I keep myself constantly busy, maybe too busy at times but it has done me no harm. I love exercise for many reasons one being for your mind it is a great distraction from everything and it’s my time to zone out, it’s one of the best things I ever took on with and I only wish I had of started it years ago, I will encourage my children to exercise and play a sport from a young age. I feel exercise really improves your life.

Im extremely grateful for my life to date I wouldn’t change much if I could go back in time. I have lost loved ones my Papa (granda) and my great auntie Bridie who both taught me a lot about life I’ll never forget. I love children but I also adore old people I could listen to their stories all day. I’ve broke hearts and I’ve had my heart broken into pieces twice by the same person years apart. It’s probably the worst feeling I’ve ever had and I wish it on nobody. Would I change anything if I could go back? No not a thing I learned lessons and I actually got to know myself better through it all. We all have regrets I don’t dwell on them why would I? Its not going to go back and change anything so leave it in the past and move on from that.

Where do I see myself in a few years? I have no idea to be honest because life turned out extremely different than what I had in my head it would be like at the end of my twentys and the beginning of my thirties and that’s okay. I do 100% want to have my own children. I adore children and have always wanted to be a mummy So I hope that I am blessed with this as part of my future.

Going forward into 2019 I want to continue success in work. I hope to one day to employ my parents and give them as easier life to the way it is and has been for them. They worked extremely hard and too hard alot of the time! I want to continue exercising and being the best version of myself. I suppose I want to be forever young but we all can dream.

I want to remain positive, I don’t want any negativity in my life. If you think negative you see negative it becomes a habit and it breeds. “who we are is more important than what we do” I want a no fear attitude going forward and no self doubt. I want to see more of this beautiful world, travel.

“Even if things aren’t going how I want them to, I trust the process everything happens for a reason, I will grow and learn from all of this”

Hope you enjoyed the read,

love H💋llie

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